Officially 12 days of my high school career left...

those are some of the many feelings that i have inside me right now- apprehensive of the future, excited for the end of school, excited for the start of a new phase in life, sad to see so many faces leave, sad to have no more money, wierd that im going to college, etc.

i guess one of the major concerns i have is if pharmacy is truely where God wants me, and pretty just in generally confused about where God does want me. This and also how i will adapt into the college amosphere and culture and concerned the influence it will have on me. These have been on my mind almost constantly, and it has given me too many headaches and frustration but today's sermon started to clear it up.

the first thing i learned is that no matter what age u are whether it be 18, 25, 35, or even 40 theres a constant question of where God is wanting me always prevalent so i can't just be pushing off this question for later. secondly, God has given us the free will to manage our time either in a destructive way or a constructive way. we can twiddle time away by just sitting and doing nothing or having fun and doing stupid stuff, or we can be actively seeking advice from elders, peers and trying our best to gain wisdom and knowledge in order to discern what we should do and what we shouldn't do. the funny thing is that i haven't really seen anyone of my peers doing the latter (including myself) and it just seems like everyone is just chillin and doing nothing. i remember reading proverbs as a quick read some time ago and it does truely gives me a sense of discernment.

the main question that popped into my head during the sermon/ just pondering is this: What is Wisdom? how do we know that we are "wise" or what is "wise"? the dictionary definition of wisdom is this:

1.	the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.

2.	scholarly knowledge or learning: the wisdom of the schools.

3.	wise sayings or teachings; precepts.

4.	a wise act or saying.

and of course this doesn't really seem to tell me anything except this "knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action"- so it seems to be that wisdom has to to do with being able to discern what is right and wrong AND then pursuing what we know in action. the book of proverbs is full if things that help me being able to DISCERN what is right and what is wrong. So the bible seems to have a parrelel here with the dictionary by having th book of wisdom full of discernments. the bible continually ceases to amaze me in its functionality to my life and here is another example.

i think that having in mind that God is sovereign over our lives helps me to relax and have less stress. But its hard not to just turn on our "cruise button" and just float through life just as a blob. we still must be actively seeking advice and gaining wisdom. and also surrounding ourselves with wise people. this of course is all really easy to talk about doing and to say, but i think it takes real committment to actually follow through and have this done in out lives.

one thing i do realize though is that i don't really learn anything about my experiences until after they occur. Like going to a christian school- when i was first told by my parents that i was going to a christian school, leaving all my old friends and setting myself in a whole new enviroment i was furious. i was doing all i can to get out of going to christian schools and was having a hard time coping with this sudden change. but now after going to a christian school since 7th grade, i realize how blessed i am to learn of the Bible not only in our bible classes (which were a big part of my develpoment in my knowledge and understanding of God) but also how he is permeated in all subjects of life whether in science, history, english and even math. when i look back at all the years of schooling i am thankful now for my parents loving me enough to work harder in order to send me to DC as well as how my character and life is changed.

the other sweet thing that i learned today was how to have a vision of the future with 3 main points:

1) what abilities do you have?

2) what interests do you have?

3) what oppurtunities did God give you?

i was struggling with the first one for awhile until someone suggested that i ask my parents. And i think asking our parents or family is a great way to see how ur abilities are in action in other people's lives and also gives u a firsthand look of what people see in you.  

i think a good start for this widsom seeking is by reading proverbs and pondering to ourselves these 2 points:

- What is Wisdom and how can i achieve it?

- Am i surrounding myself with wise people, and how can i if i don't?

yea so i hope yall have a good week now and hopefully my ramblings will spark some thoughts into your heads...

peace

Red Hot Chili Peppers- Can't Stop

Most historians attribute the Vikings devastating effectiveness to their warships, which were swift and light and could be easily dragged ashore. This allowed them to strike suddenly and then quickly retreat to the safety of the sea. However, my wise father has identified another contributing factor—one that holds incredible significance for all of us: The Vikings rowed themselves to battle.

Unlike the Romans, who used galley slaves to row their great warships, the Vikings took full responsibility for this strenuous activity. This tells us two things: 1) the Vikings didn’t feel that rowing was beneath them—they pursued competence in every area pertaining to their success, and 2) they were seriously ripped. No wonder the people of Europe were afraid of these guys—their muscles were moving twenty-ton boats through the water!

Here’s The Rebelution’s challenge: Do hard things. Learn a lesson from the Vikings. Do hard things and you will carry the battle every time. If you are willing to take on responsibilities that others delegate or neglect you will gain the benefits of that exertion.

Too often we delegate the responsibility for our education, our character, our future, etc. to others who hold far less of a stake in how things turn out. And more often than not a failure to perform in the areas of character and competence are due to a lack of past exertion.

Look around you. Many American young people are doing little more than “making it”—and this in a culture of unbelievably low standards. Few shoulder the burden of doing more than is required—yet that was the key to the Viking’s success!

In subsequent posts we will examine how we can “do hard things” by educating ourselves, tackling and maintaining normal responsibilities, and attempting the “impossible.” For now, I want you to ask yourselves the following questions:

• Am I choosing to Do Hard Things in my personal life? In my education? In the goals I set?

• Am I exceeding expectations or just getting by?

• Am I robbing myself of greater achievements because I’m unwilling to take on certain responsibilities?

yea so facebook is pretty sweet

but so is xanga and its about time for an update, the past weeks i've been chillin, bowlin, workin, and drifting  in no particular order. When the first snowstorm hit here, i was smart enough to be driving on 95 and just driving in general during the worst part. to sum up a story, i was being stupid and kinda ran into my wooden guardrails. the damage isn't bad at all really, so im not gonna get it fixed, but im just gonna get a bra to cover it all up, and im expectin to put on some sick rims(for practically free) sometime this week hopefully so its a give and take situation.

but i've been good outwardly, but have been spiritually dry- the cause is my lack of prioritizing my mind, bad time management, and slacking in devotions and stale prayers. the crazy thing is that i prob wouldn't have realized i had a problem cuz i felt fine (but life is more then feelings, even though thats what is fed to everyone through the media daily) and i was narrow-minded. thats why i always look forward to coming to church, because its a time for refreshment as well as a time to gather with like-minded people who i can hang out and chill with  and also its a time for teaching and correcting myself and others, cuz no one is perfect and input from a wiser, more experienced person can give new perspectives and wisdom that is applicable to our lives. its crazy to think how we can be distracted so easily and lose sight important things.

this is why in order to produce good fruit, it must begin with the transformation of our minds. one major duty of a christian is having the ability to think and be intellectual. thinking is being downplayed in our culture today and being more focused on how we "feel." but thinking is where we must start in order to transform our lives to God's will. the verse that comes to my mind comes from philippians 4:8:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

here paul is stressing on what we think about daily, because our thoughts are more influential to us then we sometimes realize. if we just set our minds on cruise (which is becoming a norm nowadays) we just start accepting everything that is thrown at us and will result in a state of confusion, aiming for selfish fufillments, and a dead soul. and the scary part is you probably won't realize it until its too late, so this is also why its important to have christian friends that can keep you accountable and check up on you. But anywho, when we set our minds on pure, excellent, righteous, noble things that will start showing up in the way we act (our fruit). so one good sign of checking ones spiritual state, is by examining what is our main focus which will result in the actions we do (or lack). thinking leads to the way we act and shows who we are living for and its not always clear cut. alot of times its a gradual change and won't be noticed for a little bit, but the goal here isn't to get attention of man, but of God and he can see the state of our hearts which is most important. this is why prioritizing our minds are important, because we can't just have a huge jumble in our heads cuz that will lead to narrow-minds, lack of focus, and messed up goals.

so even though we all have many things to juggle like school, work, friends, church etc. when we set our priorities straight, we then know what we must do and do it. if we set friends first, then our lives will revolve around hangin with our friends, so everything else gets set aside. if we set God as our number 1 priority, then we can see that we must strive for the best we can in school and also we can keep in touch with our friends and have fun as well as keeping in touch with God which is sweet, and he takes care of everything else so we have little need to be overly worried about our futures.

so i hope you guys have a good week and are keeping your priorities straight

hopefully i'll be doing the same

Death Cab For Cutie- Title and Registration